Today’s dating landscape has drastically changed. People are increasingly relying on texting as a means to start — and sometimes end — their romances. But, how does one navigate the waters and achieve results that lead to dates? Well, I interviewed Vanessa Taylor, dating coach, author of Text. Love. Power.: The Ultimate Girls Relationship Guide to Texting and Dating in the New Millennium and blogger at Platinum Girl Celebrity Blog. Check out what she had to say!
How has text messaging influenced heterosexual romantic relationships?
For men and women alike, it has made relationships very casual. People are having a lot of their communication take place over text — everything from planning dates, having arguments, to breaking up. People spend more time getting to know each other over text instead of out on dates. That is why in my book, Text. Love. Power., I recommend that women limit the “pen pal” conversation with men. If he isn’t asking her out on a date or otherwise doing something to move the relationship forward, he’s a time waster. She doesn’t need to respond to every text to keep his attention. If anything, it helps if she doesn’t.
What are the similarities and differences between feminine and masculine communication styles in heterosexual romantic relationships?
The only similarity when it comes to texting is that both men and women like the convenience. One excuse I hear from people who have thoroughly embraced texting is that they, “just don’t feel like talking.” Overall, though, the communication styles are more different than they are the same. Most men don’t like to have long conversations over the phone or call every day. On the other hand, many women become nervous when they don’t hear from a man every day or he cuts the conversation short. The advice I offer is pay attention to whether he asks for plans. A man might not be interested in chatting with a woman on the phone like her best girlfriend would. But, what matters is that he’s setting dates. If he’s calling everyday but not setting dates, that’s a very bad sign and a woman shouldn’t be too hopeful about the relationship.
How did you become inspired to write Text. Love. Power.: The Ultimate Girls Relationship Guide to Texting and Dating in the New Millennium?
In what ways is your work feminist? Have you received any feedback from feminists about your book and blog?
The way that it is feminist is that when a woman doesn’t see a man everyday and keeps her own life, she’s still able to make sure her work is done and professionally successful. Similar to me, I think a woman can still be a feminist even though she doesn’t pursue a man.
What advice do you have for aspiring authors?
Have your marketing plan ready and start early. Writing the book is the first part and practically the easiest. If you don’t have a means to market a book, there’s almost no point in writing one. It could be the greatest book of the year. Unless there’s a successful go-to-market plan, though, it’ll go unnoticed.